Why I call myself The Ageing Psychologist
Part 1...
The Ageing Psychologist is a new venture and is the culmination of both my professional and personal journey.
The title is not just a play on words but it does describe me: I am a psychologist and at aged 56, I am ageing.
It’s much more than that though.
I’m guessing you were intrigued? Were a tiny bit curious about why someone would want to be known for something so mundane as ageing, or maybe as scary as ageing, for something so unsexy as ageing?
In our culture drawing attention to getting old it is an odd thing to do. In fact, we do the opposite: spending lots of time and not insignificant sums of money hiding the signs of it, often from being quite young with the onset of the first grey hair.
And I’m not immune. I found myself late one evening, having noticed that the skin on my neck was sort of crepey and in an attempt to quell the growing sense of unease and shame, Googling “getting rid of your turkey neck”. Needless to say there were endless ‘solutions’ to hiding it and so ending my shame. Needless to say most of the solutions were behind a paywall.
The Googling behaviour to quell the shame of an ageing body, is but one of many responses I’ve had to my own beliefs about getting old. These beliefs form part of me. They are my ‘inner ageist’: the voice in my head that has a dim view of me as I age and as I watch others age, and interact with those who are already old.
The voice is so normal I hardly hear it at times. But it’s pretty much a constant and it rarely says nice things.
The Ageing Psychologist is my response to it. I want to meet other people who have an inner ageist so that we might take collective action to address the shame associated with age and ageing bodies. Brene Brown once said of shame:
"If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive1"
Calling myself The Ageing Psychologist, invites you and your inner ageist to have a different conversation about age and ageing.
Once the shame has gone, what could be left? Could we do better for ourselves?
Brene Brown (2018) Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House.
I can wholeheartedly identify myself with what you describe. This little 'inner ageist' voice seems to be always there sucking my energy. I would love to rather spend this energy more on something which brings me joy and love in life.
Very interesting